Being Available is a Trap
You pay the price with your self-respect
When you’re always available, people start to think they can just use your time however they want.
In plain terms — it makes them think that you lack enough self-respect.
I feel being there for others should come with boundaries.
Ever heard of the term “people-pleaser”?
Yeah, this breed of people take joy in approving others’ opinions, views, and beliefs even if it doesn’t sit well with theirs.
I belong to that breed.
Saying “NO” to someone is kinda a taboo, feels like I’m breaking some unspoken rule.
But here’s whats WORSE:
They’ll probably REPLACE you with someone else.
You’re afraid they’ll just find someone else to take your place if you’re not always there.
Scary, isn’t it?
You feel that you’ve given your all, time, and energy, just to be ditched by that person.
Hate to break it to you but, being irreplaceable is a myth.
What really matters is how you handle your time and energy.
Making yourself a bit harder to reach can actually make people respect your time more.
Don’t you think it’s about finding the right balance between being there for others and taking care of yourself?
Aah, I get it — easier said than done.
Here are 3 questions from Alex Mathers’ “The Art of Self Respect” book (Chapter 2) that helped me get close to figuring out my “availability”:
- What are these things?
- Are you doing it for approval?
- What aspects of your life need more of your attention that could use redirection of your availability from other things?
- What drains your energy, and how could withdrawing from such things benefit you?
What’s your take on this? Have you figured out your sense of availability yet? If yes, please feel free to share it in the comments — might help someone.
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